The Pressure to do Everything
I recently moved to New York City, and while I'm living out a dream many people have, I can't help but notice the rise in the pressure to do everything.
Every minute of the day it feels like I should be doing something, and even when I am doing something, it feels like I should be doing something more. I’m having a hard time allowing myself to take a break instead of filling my days with endless tasks. When I’m working, I think I should be working harder. When I’m making dinner, I think I should be making something more impressive. When I’m having a quiet night in, I feel guilty for not taking advantage of being 21 living in New York City. No matter what I’m doing, I feel I should be doing more.
I think part of this feeling links back to hustle culture and the other just not wanting to miss what’s right in front of me. But if there’s anything I've learned, it’s that not allowing yourself to rest will cause you to burn out.
So how do you find balance? Can you balance it all?
Everyone is different, so how much energy you can give and in which areas differ from person to person. My roommate is able to prioritize work, self care, and rest. One of my best friends can only prioritize work and rest, and my other best friend can do it all. No one is better than the other and no area is necessarily more important to focus on, but what you focus on will give you different qualities of life. Work is important, but if you work too much you’ll burn out and miss all the other special things life has to offer. If you do too much self care or rest too much, you could risk a lack of social and romantic relationships and experiences. If you let your romantic relationship consume you, you could lack in every other area and risk not meeting your full potential. There’s upsides and downfalls to each focus area, so how do you balance it? Boundaries.
I personally have always been someone who struggles with boundaries. My own and other people’s. However, ever since I learned how to implement boundaries in my own life and respect others boundaries, my balance and quality of life has increased exponentially.
I’ve been able to put boundaries up at work, so when my work day is done, I am no longer available. Of course, being an intern at a luxury fashion company, there are urgent exceptions, but for the most part, at 6:00, I’m done for the day. I’ve learned to set boundaries with my friends when I feel like I don’t have the energy to do something extravagant. I’m also in the process of teaching myself discipline and making sure I am taking care of myself and am keeping myself on the right track to reach my goals. This is all a long road that I think takes a lot of time and effort to get right, so with all of these changes I am also trying to practice acceptance. I stayed too late at the office one day so I didn’t get to go to the gym? That’s okay, my boss will remember I stayed until 9:00. I had plans with my friends but I’m just too exhausted from the week? It’s okay for me to recharge so I can be myself when I do see my friends. I’m trying to practice looking on the bright side of things, and giving myself grace while I find my balance and discipline. Just because I want to work all the time to prove myself, doesn’t mean I should. Just because I want to make the most of being 21 in New York City, doesn’t mean I need to go clubbing every weekend like everyone else. Just because someone suggests one way of doing something, does not mean I have to follow.
The urge to do it all is consuming. I want to be the best worker, the best friend, the most in shape I can be, have as much fun as possible, and so on. But none of this is possible if I can’t find balance and discipline. With the rise hustle culture and wanting to do it all, it’s important to remember to enjoy where you’re at - no matter how hard that may be.
